Parenting Fatigue (or Caregiver Fatigue)
Being a parent is a full-time job. The mental load, day-to-day demands, and constant touch can feel overwhelming. We’re told that feeling tired is simply part of parenting - but do we need to feel exhausted? Too often I have parents in my office whose kids are finally sleeping through the night, the demands are a little less intense and yet they’re still SO exhausted.
Our bodies aren’t meant to deal with the demands of being a parent in the 21st century, especially during COVID times. Expectations are high, too high, to meet them. You are a superperson, but you can not do everything at once. Our social media highlight reel is setting parents up for burnout. It’s important to regularly re-evaluate what is important for you - what are your core values as a parent? A partner? What is your purpose? What gives you joy? These are deep questions for a blog article, but diving into them can help decrease the noise of the daily grind and lower personal expectations.
It’s also important to look at what depletes our energy: lack of sleep (sometimes out of our control, but parts of it we can be in control over), excessive stress, a diet full of simple carbohydrates, lack of movement, frequent infections, and nutrient deficiencies are big ones. Iron deficiency is SO common in women postpartum, B12 deficiency in people with digestive concerns or eating plant-based, and Vitamin D deficiency is rampant in Canadians! These are simple deficiencies that I (or your family doctor) can test for and treat if needed!
We also need to go back to an understanding of what gives us energy. Our body requires nutrients (things like folate, iron, B12, B6, B5, B3, Magnesium…) to make hormones like cortisol, insulin, and thyroid; and support ATP (energy) production. We require fuel (food) to keep these processes working and keep our energy stable - ideally long-lasting fuel like protein, fiber, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates. We require sleep to reset, heal, and wake up energized. And we are fueled mentally/emotionally by purpose and happiness - two things that can sometimes be challenging to find in the day-to-day chaos.
These are challenging times and burnout is rampant. The load on parents and caregivers in this pandemic has been astronomical. We need to talk about these things and support parents so fatigue is not an inherent part of parenthood. There often is a cause, and solutions, to help you feel better.